We were together since the age of six. We would go to school together, eat together, play together,
cheat in our homework’s and being class mates, also sit together.
Everyone who knew us, had the same phrase on repeat “ you both are always together. Best friends
is it ?”
To us, well… we didn’t even know what friendship meant. It was quiet a long time till I realised what
she meant to me.
Been a year and 3 months, that my best friend has left this world to a beautiful better place. And I
still wake up at 3 am to the screams I couldn’t witness and protect.
11 years of friendship and it had still been going strong, until she fell in love with her dream guy and
we started arguing and developing a rage that we never understood.
We had a communication through silence but a third person could snatch that away this soon, I had
To me, she wasn’t just a friend but the family that I always wanted. As soon as it came to my
knowledge that her dream guy was setting dreams for other girls, I had the urge to let her know. But
before I could take steps… he did.
She called me that night, 7:33pm October 6 2015. As usual, I thought it was going to be a long call
and we’ll be discussing our daily routine as we always did. But it wasn’t that. She was silent for a
while and I heard her weep. I knew something had crashed her terribly so I panicked and asked her
what was wrong.
“ Why would you do this to me ? You know how much I love him. I have shared every bit of my joy
with you and yet you tried to snatch him ? You tried to trigger him towards yourself ? Why ? What
have I done wrong with you ? Why would you fall to such a low character tell me why ? ”
Those were the exact questions she asked and blamed upon me. I stood silent. Held my mouth and
didn’t for a second let her know how terribly I had been broken.
She knew me for 11 years and she still believed the guy who had just spent 6 months with her.
Without letting me a chance, she agreed to accuse me. I wasn’t upset with the fact that she chose
him, I understood love had the power to blind… but my sympathy believed, I deserved a chance to
speak before she could have concluded a disgusting tag on me.
That call ended within 22 minutes and the last words she had for me were “ you have hurt me ”.
I cried. A lot. I had lost a support of mine. My family. A huge part of my life. So I cried till I got
completely exhausted to sleep.
2 months later, I shifted to my home country for higher education. All this time and I still had no idea
of how she was. A girl who I would talk to day night for 11 years was gone… leaving me to a guilt
that I still resist to escape.
January 19 2016, 2:48 am a wrong number call interrupted my sleep. I ignored the first 3 calls but
the 4rth one got me curious. I picked up. A lady crying in a familiar voice shivered and spoke “ She
passed away. She was sorry for everything… she passed away… forgive her for her mercy”
I was numb. Completely. What had happened ? I thought things would get better and one day we
would get back to being friends once… what happened ? It was struck in my throat and I wanted to
scream but that night, I was unable to digest it. I failed to cry out my pain… and that urge still lives to
suffocate me within.
In a terrible road accident, she had passed away. Her elder sister had called me letting me know of
how these 3 months had been for her. How every night she wanted to call me but she couldn’t as
she thought she had hurt me to a point that I wont forgive.
Again… she didn’t give me a chance. All I needed was once, to speak. Maybe I could’ve just called
her but I thought she had been hating me for a character that I am not… we were both lost in the
misguidance of something that did not exist… in between… she struggled to her guilt but is now at
peace. While I am still troubling to sleep since her screams and apologise strike my throat at 3 am…
and I shiver to sleep.
I forgave her after that call she had ended that night… but how do I forgive myself knowing that she
had lived in a guilt that didn’t mean a bit… how do I forget of how lonely those 3 months had been
spent. How do I forget the years we had spend together… the dreams we built… how do I forget the
family I have lost to the silence of that one phone call… how do I sleep when my soul is still wide
awake to the miseries that weren’t meant to be. I failed to let out the grieve so it kills me with every
beat. I lost a family, failing to realize communication was the lead…
Maybe just a phone call could have saved us from the grieve, maybe just a chance could have let us
11 years of innocence, crashed to the six months of his cheats.