Darkness and Light
Lying awake, I stare at moonlight
Feeling my soul disappear.
“Stay! Don’t leave!” I whisper
But the words get stuck in my throat,
For I see a monster lurking in the shadows.
Gazing, staring, calculating my every move,
I try to even my breathing but it’s no use.
It is already making its way towards me,
To consume me, corrupt me, once again.
Starting from my toes and into my mind, my soul,
Spreading like a virus, contaminating my every thought.
Hanging a cloud over my happiness, pushing it away
And placing itself on the throne of my heart.
“Help! Help!” I cry out
I feel my heart burn,
But no one hears my pleas.
It’s too late. Once again, it is too late.
I want to blossom, to laugh, and to live.
For it feels like I have spent an eternity,
Under the rule of the darkness.
For years I have felt my heart ache,
My soul break,
But I cannot live like this any more.
Where is my light?
Where is my last tunnel?
Squinting my eyes, I see it!
But it’s too far… It is always too far.
I crawl my way towards it, attempting to escape again
But the shackles tighten against my soul.
Hissing, I sit still
Feeling the burn throughout
“What do I do? What do I do?” I panic
It laughs at me, mocking me, reminding me of my helplessness.
But I must fight, I must
For it is the wrongful heir to my throne.
My heart was never meant to be its,
My soul was never meant to be held captive.
It was meant to thrive, to fight, and to survive.
And I must, I must rage a war against it,
For I have had enough.
I will fight.
But who will join me? Who will side me?
“I will”, whispers a timid voice.
Shock courses through my body,
My soul has spoken.
“Finally”, I cry out
Holding my head in my hands,
I weep. Out of joy, out of hope.
Standing on my feet, I face the monster
Pointing towards it I say,
Feed on me tonight,
Because tonight is the last time I’ll let you.
For tomorrow I’ll break through.
I’ll pull you out of my veins
And stomp my feet on you, crush you
And never let you touch me again for I have found my light.
I’ll let you consume all my thoughts,
And feed into my soul
And make me feel worthless, one last time.
But never again, shall I let you win”
“You can not stop me!” it laughs.
“You’re weak, useless. I will come back and break you again.
Because I have won countless wars against one’s soul.
Who are you to win against me?
Who are you to stand up against me?” It roars.
But I am not afraid.
I have been afraid my entire life, but no more.
Smiling, I say,
“I am a Ruler of my own kingdom.
I will rule the throne you have taken from me,
For it is the throne of my heart.
My body, my mind, my soul will belong to no one but me.
For I have learned to love myself.”
Closing my eyes, I raise my hands and whisper,
“For I believe in myself”
Light courses through my body
And surrounds me, making the cold go away.
The monster roars but I pay no heed.
It is gone. It will never come back.
As long as I stay true to myself,
I will be safe. I will be happy.