I Heard Those Screamings Dad!

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Dear dad,
One more sleepless night. One more night I cried my self to sleep. One more night when I couldn’t stop wondering about all those incidents I’d been witnessing since my childhood. It was dark in my surrounding and.. Quiet.. Indeed, very quiet.
People think life is unfair to them. They think they are quite unfortunate. Have they ever prayed for their love – one to die? No? Then I think they might want to re – consider their life! The things we have taken for granted, someone somewhere is dying for it. The relations they never thought how lucky they were to be a part of, I’m dying to experience the joy, care and love in them.
While I was still thinking about those series of unfortunate events in my life, I heard a familiar voice screaming and few minutes later, I heard maa crying and begging. She had so much pain in her voice which still echoes in my mind. You know what’s heartbreaking in that? Maa crying? NO! What still breaks my heart is that, that you were the one who was shouting and torturing maa. Wondering why I didn’t call you papa? Because I don’t consider you one. Do you have any idea what the saddest thing is when your own mother is a victim of domestic violence? It’s the fact that you can’t even share this thing from your best friend, you need to suffer this all alone.
It was not the first time I heard you guys fighting. I had been listening to those voices since childhood. Every night I hear that and the next day I pretend that I do not know anything. Let’s talk about father’s love. Is it even a thing? I don’t know, I never experienced that. I had been watching you behaving so badly with maa since childhood. When my friends were celebrating their birthdays and traveling around and enjoying with their parents, you had been talking about how maa destroyed your life. You know what? You even never realized how I was carving for your and maa’s attention, she even did not give any time to me. I was in my own home but it never felt my own. My friends always cherish when they remember their childhood but when I hear the word childhood my brain always shows me the blur scene of you scolding maa and how she use to cry after that.
Now; when I’m 22 years old, my friends are so delighted to start the new phase of their life and to marry their prince charmings. They are waiting for their Mr. Right, a person just like their fathers because they believe that such man does exist . Their parents use to read them the bed time fairy tales but I was the one who use to hear you shouting every night before I went to bed. My friend’s father use to kiss them good night but I was the one who shivered hearing your voice. When ever you started your usual blaming game, my heart skipped a beat and I never know how maa managed to stand in front of you.
You know what, at this stage of finding – your – soul mate, my friends are all nervous and excited and happy but I, thankfully because of you hating this phase. My friends are still Waiting for their love story. But me? Ah thank you dad for showing me that love stories are only in books.
Man are not prince charming or Mr. Right, they are a beast, who consider themselves a King and their women a servant or less than that. Thank you for showing me the reality of this cruel and selfish world.
Your loving daughter.

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