“What do you like about yourself?”
“There must be something? Your eyes, lips, smile, anything?
We are bought up in a world that makes us question our ability to attract or ‘wow’ someone, our ability to represent our self in front of the public. Each compliment we get by another person makes us wonder if they actually mean it or if they were forced to say it, maybe they pity us?
“You’re beautiful”, instead of thanking them, you wonder: Why?
You are never satisfied as to why this particular person called you beautiful or you never believe them. Why do you think I am beautiful? What makes me extraordinary? Or exquisite? Or out of this world? There is this constant nagging, this urge to just ask them the reason.
From a very young age, we are criticized about our body, about our nature. We are criticized about something that is not in our control. A person cannot control the shape of their nose, the colour of their skin, their teeth or your hairy face/body. These small criticisms become us and destroy us mentally. We constantly wonder if we have the ability to change these features and we consider this as a burden. A reason no one will ever love us for who we are.
Our media is doing a splendid job at this by promoting ads like beauty cream, fairing cream. We even have plastic surgery now that helps us to change any feature of ours that we don’t like or admire.
The moment a child is born, his/her features are admired later, people point out the flaws of the child first. “Look at his eyes, bilkul dadiyal par gayi hai, choti choti si”.
“Oh, would you look at your nose, operation karwa lou, make it smaller and less pointier”
“O my child, you have hair all over your face and neck, go to a doctor, find a suitable treatment. No one would appreciate a girl like you”
“Haha, you’re a boy and you can’t even grow a beard? Are you sure you’re a boy?”
“Go to a doctor, your acne is getting worse day by day”
These things are not in our control, stop acting like they are. You have the audacity to point out our flaws, to point something out that is not in our control. You point these things out and forget about them but you don’t know that we carry these words with us forever. You deliberately attempt to point out our flaws but here is the thing, we cannot control these flaws but the biggest flaw is in you. The flaw of judging someone on account for something that they cannot manage. We swallow these drastic comments and let them become a part of us for the rest of our lives. While you go ahead and keep on pointing out flaws in other, making them feel inferior, we keep this burden within us. There are some people who rub it in your face. Rub the fact that you aren’t going to be enough for anyone. That they are more beautiful and they are worth the effort. This is where your insecurities hit you and break you.
Our society has never taught us to appreciate ourselves because we need to presentable, attractive and like-able in front of people who admire external beauty rather than appreciating what is within. To all those people who lead us to believe that we aren’t enough, you’re doing a splendid job.