So that is how it started ?
“yes… everything was perfect. I was a young teen, 16 at that time. Beautiful and a blossoming flower as he used to say…
He proposed me and everything went on smooth. His family was happy and so was my dad. I had lost mom already and since then dad had been everything. He allowed me to be myself and allowed me to take decisions and supported me as always. He was happy seeing me happy and I was happy to find the best of what everyone craves, love!…”
Why did your husband leave ?
“leave ? He didn’t leave. It was all planned earlier… he came just for a while. A while as long for 7 years and a half…
We got married. We were a happy couple ignoring all the ups and downs as every family has. And I thought I was utterly blessed until the day came when I found out I was pregnant. I was so thankful to Lord for all of it and I was super excited to meet my little piece of heaven until he decided he wasn’t ready to be a parent and forced me to abort. I was young and the doctors clearly said it was a risk to my health but he rather decided to force me to pills and get rid of his upcoming “burden”…
I, being a fool in love, did not understand his intentions and for the sake of love, I gave up all my nightmares and re-built myself after that first disruption…”
The first ? So there was another disruption too ?
“…yes! The root of everything began when I found out about his cousin whom they first wanted him to marry instead of me… and as the years passed and everything seemed settled, I kept overlooking it but this person, this person slept with me at nights spending the rest of his time with “the cousin”. He made sure I was of good use while he also made sure of the spare wheel his mother kept on hanging around him… it was that night when we were supposed to go home, and at the station… he decided to leave me all alone. He decided to run away thinking I would break and get back to my place but I refused to lose hope and instead ran behind him.
I followed all the way till his mothers place and I begged him to not leave. I begged myself in front of every single member of his family and I begged them to spare me for it was my life. My everything at risk…”
Then? Who helped you out later?
“… well, no one to be certain. They laughed at me and showed me how low I had already fallen in front of them.
He escaped, married his cousin and is now probably in the perfect life his mother manipulated him into. And probably a lot happier than he was with me.
The me that would do anything and everything to his commands, the me that gave up every possible thing just for the sake of his happiness… he is probably really happy without that me now !”
How do you feel now?
“ feel? Oh, I feel great. Knowing that I did not end myself after a loss of 7 and a half years of being someone I was not, I feel great knowing that I did not give up and that I did not let my dad, my only family, feel like he had lost his daughter. It took me courage of course, and a lot of time… I do sometimes black out and miss the happiness I once used to feel but that does not allow me to suffocate myself for a person who considers me nothing.”
“one thing I learned from all those times, nothing will last. Not happiness not grief. What will last is YOU. And if you are not there for yourself then you’re doing it all wrong. Before allowing anyone else the power to destroy you make sure you have the power to get back up . And I won’t justify men are all dishonest and not trustable, but when it comes to being animals, men are the worst. So be fair to yourself before being long lost in love, just be fair to your future self.”
Does it all haunt you anymore?
“No, it doesn’t. Because I’m sure it haunts him to see how successful, bold, flawless, sexy, independent and humane I have become, without his name ever coming ahead mine! And that to me, is peace and success all together.”