This Is Who I Am

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I am scared and terrified of losing someone and I freaked out on small things like someone got hurt or someone is sad. I freak out easily on people being late or if I don’t see the people I love every day I need to know if they are ok or if they are ALIVE. I can’t talk to people or look at them cause I feel so small. I freak out when people take my name or want to talk to me. I need to know things(I don’t know how to explain it).I assume the worst of the situation so I don’t hope(hope hurts). I stay up all night in thoughts of a different universe.

But
after all the freaking and panicking I am kind wholehearted and humble.I realize things, I observe things and I try to be nice and fair cause I know pain.

If u come to me for help I will help you, if you need me I will be there. I might be breaking or losing but I won’t ask for help and please I beg you I don’t want you to be there when I am down I am used to fighting it alone so please don’t ask how I am?I just wanna feel my way through my life the way I want to and I will get through it just fine.

You asked who I was? This is who I am. A messed up person who knows nothing and is filled with fear. Love me or hate me it won’t affect me in any way, talk behind my back I won’t care, spread rumours and I will laugh cause my heart knows the truth. I won’t prove my self to you or give an explanation. I might be filled with fear but I am strong and so are you, chin up and feel through life feel the good and the bad (only after bad you will appreciate good).

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I FIND STRENGTH AND HAPPINESS IN WRITING. IT MAKE ME THE PERSON I AM ON THE INSIDE. I WRITE TO BE HEARD ,ME WRITING WAS AN ACCIDENT BUT I LIKE TO CALL IT THE PERFECT ACCIDENT. I WRITE BECAUSE SOME DAY SOMEONE WILL TELL ME THAT MY EMOTIONS WERE NOT A WASTE. I WRITE BECAUSE ONE DAY I WILL BE GONE BUT WHAT I FELT, BELIEVED AND LEARNT WILL LIVE ON.