Yes, I’ve Had A Heartbreak Before But I Never Thought My BestFriend Would Do This To Me

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It’s taken me a while to get up the nerve to write this. You hurt me in a way I never thought possible. Yes, I’ve had heartbreak before, but I never thought my best friend would do this to me. Now instead of remembering you as my other half, I just think of you as the best friend who broke my heart.

 

Thanks to you, I’ve had a hard time making new friends. I never know when one of them might betray me like you did. You said you’d always be there, but in the blink of an eye, everything changed. I only wish you were here right now, so I could talk to you in person and maybe understand things better.

In retrospect, I guess the breakup signs were obvious. Maybe I was just naive to think we’d work things out. I still can’t figure out how things suddenly turned bad when it seemed like just the day before we were laughing until we were crying.

I wish I understood. What did I do that was so wrong? You asked me a question and I answered it honestly. We’d always been honest before. For years, everything was great and suddenly, it was like you hated me. I wish you could help me understand. Maybe then it wouldn’t have hurt so bad.

I trusted you with every thing. My life was an open book to you. I trusted you with my secrets. Did you have to spread them around just for some fleeting fun?

I thought you were my soulmate. I’ve always believed friends could be soulmates too and for once, I thought I’d found one. We were inseparable. We’d been through countless breakups, yet our relationship kept going strong. Was it all just a lie?

 

Why did you have to lie? One day you were calling me by my nickname and the next you were telling everyone that I was a liar, a bitch and didn’t deserve anyone in my life. I didn’t do anything to you, yet you lied to everyone who would listen. I lost more than you that day, yet I couldn’t get past the shock of your lies.

I guess I wasn’t good enough. I realize you had made a few new friends. I just didn’t realize I wasn’t good enough anymore. I wish you could’ve just told me that to start with. It would’ve hurt, but at least it would’ve made more sense.

I only wanted to be there for you. We were both going through changes in our lives. I only wanted to be there for you and thought you wanted to do the same for me. The final time I was there for you seemed to be the breaking point. Why would you choose friends who made fun of you over me?

Do you even care what you did? It’s been several years, yet I’ve never heard an apology. I’ve seen you and you’ve ignored me. I think it might have made a little difference if I knew you cared or had any regrets.

Do you ever miss me at all? I know you’d never admit it, but I can’t help but wonder if you miss me. We’ve both went through milestones that we had planned to do together. Did you ever miss having me there or have I even crossed your mind since then?

You’ve changed so much since then. You unfriended me from both facebook and reality. I can turn off the facebook memories. But it’s the real ones that bother the most.

 

I’m proud of you in some ways, yet I can’t believe how much you’ve given in to peer pressure. I wish you could’ve followed your dreams instead of following your friends.

I’m glad you’ve come and gone. Seeing how you’ve changed has made me glad that we’re no longer real friends. I’ve grown up, found some genuine people who actually seem to love me. My friends now care about me more than you ever did. Without your final tantrum that fateful day, I might never have met them.

It still hurts sometimes. I’ll be honest, it still hurts sometimes. I spent some beautiful moments of my life with you. I still fear that my close friends today might do the same thing you did.

I’ve moved on, not that you’ve noticed. You were always competitive like that. I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay. I guess it’d be too much to assume that you’ve noticed I’ve moved on and didn’t get derailed from following my dreams.

I wish you the best and I hope you do the same for me. I would like to say a final goodbye to you. You might have noticed I’m no longer on your friend list. I just wanted to wish you the best, despite your vicious breakup. I only hope you feel the same about me.

Credits -Rahmi Islam

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This is Adeel aka A Dot. -Founder of wheniwrit.com | When I Write - Writer/Poet/Author -Student of Mbbs -21 -Lahore 'When i write, i beeld words'